Following various financial goings-on Wigan’s chairman Dave Whelan has decided to rename his side’s stadium ‘The DW Stadium’.
Now I think it’s fair to say that this must be the dullest and least intimidating name for any football stadium anywhere in the world. I mean, a ground named after a balding, grey-haired, toothless old man is hardly going to get fans excited or opponents quivering, is it?
And it just reeks of a lack of imagination too. When you have a blank slate why not go for something scary like ‘The Northern Pit of Footballing Doom’ or something outrageously stupid, like ‘Stevie B’s Blue and White Party Hall’?
It’s in this vein that I hereby declare that all football grounds should be renamed, by us, the people, for us, the people.
I’ll get the ball rolling with a suggestion for Chelsea. ‘Roman’s Imperial Palace of Justice’.
It stinks of power, class, untouchability…everything that Chelsea wish they had.
And for my home team Walsall, what about ‘The Black Country Beating Ground’. It tells rival teams that if they don’t get a hiding on the pitch then they’ll shortly afterwards get one off it.