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Let’s learn about…Wolverhampton Wanderers
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Written by Ian Shine
As part of a new series here on 90minutes we’ll be looking at all of this season’s promoted teams.
Wolverhampton Wanderers have long been overshadowed by their West Midlands rivals Aston Villa, but more recently their bitter Black Country rivals West Bromwich Albion have also taken a greater share of the limelight.
Saddled with an over-paid squad of below-par journeymen, these are times more desperate than usual for Newcastle United. They want shot of their rubbish squad and fast. Thankfully for them the feeling amongst the players is mutual.
Michael Owen took matters into his own hands, hawking his wares in an elaborately conceived brochure, and he was quickly followed by want-away rebel bad-boy Joey Barton. Alan Smith is the latest player to add his name to that list. Exclusive to 90Minutes here is the Alan Smith brochure…
Well, the latest big shake in Western Europe’s forgotten nation involves washed-out Argentinean Javier Saviola showing up at Benfica.
Clearly not enough of a Galactico to satisfy Real’s requirements, Saviola was exchanged for €5m worth of fruit pastilles and a copy of Horse and Hound.
He said: “I looked at the squad at Benifca and, sincerely, it is a group with a lot of quality and potential."
In a desperate ploy to live for a few more years on a footballer’s salary, Newcastle’s Michael Owen has got his PR cronies to stick out a brochure pimping his wares.
This kind of head-on approach to matters is much more suited to his teammate Joey Barton, who is never short of word or two to say about the state of the world.
So with no further ado, here is the Joey Barton brochure.
Gone are the days when a local double-glazing magnate could buy a football club and lead them to modest success. Nowadays chairmen have far grander designs and deeper pockets. Owning a football club is the ultimate display of narcissism. An ostentatious demonstration of wealth and perhaps the only way to get thousands of grown men to sing your name. Be that as it is, the role can attract an odd bunch. Let us salute football’s maddest chairmen.