*(Please note that all descriptions are not intended to accurately represent our fine team of writers!)*

Darren Douglas

David Moftakhar

‘It’s not pretty but someone’s got to do it.’ That’s the ethos ‘The Moftster’ takes to both womanising and sub-editing 90 Minutes. He’s the ‘water-carrier,’ doing the dirty work no one else is willing, or can be bothered, to do. Not a face for the limelight, his work behind the scenes allows the others to express their talents.

Stephen Jonathan “The Rome” Rome

From Bogota to Beijing, this well-traveled firebrand has plied his trade all over the world. In terms of output he can only be described as prolific. Not averse to casual sex or violence, you can rest assured that this vocal Villain will die for the cause (as long as he gets his own way!). Currently considering a come-back in South Korea. 

Ian Shine

Like any football reject worth his salt, this man has lived in numerous places for short stints. From Birmingham to Sheffield, then Poland, Siberia, Lisbon and now somewhere back in England, he’s still looking for a place to call home before his bowels stop working. He was the African Footballer of the year in 1976 and scored four goals in the 1990 World Cup. Currently out on a loan spell with a view to a permanent move.