Retiring a multimillionaire in your mid-thirties may be the dream for most. But spare a thought for those former top-flight footballers now rattling around their mock-Tudor mansions. Wiling away their days deciding whether to take out the Bugatti or the Bentley and which of their eight bathrooms to use.
If you take a look at the Ligue 1 table, you shouldn't be shocked to see Paris Saint-Germain leading the way, especially since they've been champions for the last 3 seasons. What may surprise you though, is that they currently have a 21 point cushion over second-placed Monaco. A situation that should cause the LFP great embarrassment.
Uncharacteristic. That was what the man called it. And it was exactly that. Ki Sung-Yueng had just played a sloppy, dangerous pass into the path of opposition striker Odion Ighalo, metres from the Swansea box.
Football chants can be hilarious.
"He's French, he's quick, his name's a porno flick Emanuelle, Emanuelle." Funny.
"When you're sat... in row Z... and the ball... hits your head... that's Zamora." Also funny.
Most chants aren't quite so amusing, just a matter of fact reminder of shirt colour.
Did you hear the one about the Englishman, Irishman and Welshman who walked into a bar? Well you won’t have heard it because the lack of a Scotsman in the equation is actually no joke, his absence down to the fact that, unlike the others, his team won’t be joining in the European Championships in France next summer.