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A Brazilian tale
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Written by David Moftakhar
Sunday’s Milan derby saw the confirmation of what we have known for the past four months: Inter will win Serie A at a canter. The chase for the fourth Champions League spot and the battle against relegation are now the only ports of call for the thrill seeking observer.
Having dominated proceedings, Juventus should have beaten Fiorentina, but could only manage a draw. So, following the 2-1 win over their city rivals, Inter now have a nine point lead at the top of the table.
The derby was a frenetic and engaging affair, largely thanks to a trio of Brazilians – and a certain buck-toothed one in particular.
Almeria do just fine with 9, and Real score 4 as top draw
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Written by Benjamin Cullen
Real Madrid, Almeria and Sevilla were the big winners in this week's round of fixtures. In fact, amazingly, they were the only teams inside the the top 16 to win at all!
Raul, with his 308th club goal, put Madrid one up at Sporting Gijon on Sunday, and in doing so edged past Di Stefano's long standing all-time scoring record. An achievement the Asturian fans met with chants of 'Raul retire now'. Unfortunately for them he obviously didn't feel like hanging his boots up quite there and then, instead going on to score Madrid's 4th in the 76th minute after cool finishes from Huntelaar and Marcelo (both assisted by Higauin) had put the game out of reach for Gijon.
Whilst most people, including the Champions League-centric media, are creaming themselves about the return of Europe's 'elite' competition next week, I'm far more excited about the return of the UEFA Cup over the next couple of days.
I'm sure the fact that I have a vested interest in it as an Aston Villa fan plays a large part in that, but by and large I find the UEFA cup a more interesting and unpredictable tournament. The CL will generally provide you with the same familiar faces from Western Europe's top leagues, whereas the UEFA cup knock out stage provides a far more diverse range of teams representing countries from all over the continent.
Now that the grind of the lame group stage phase is over, we have reached the exciting business end of the contest. Here is a preview and some predictions.
Lack of footballing drama results in human tragedy
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Written by Ian Shine
The body of Ian Shine was this morning found at the bottom of Lisbon’s Elevador de Santa Justa. A note stuffed into his jacket pocket said that he had been driven to throw himself off the 32 metre tower because of ‘weekly exposure to the shabbiness of Portuguese football’.
The note went on to say: ‘I can’t stand these depths of despair anymore. For weeks I have been surviving on the knowledge that at least Hélder Postiga was having a worse time of Portuguese football than me. However, his goal and assist on Saturday left me with no way of consoling myself, and his celebrations at the end of the match, as if he were the saviour of the world, just threw me over the edge.’
Shine’s diaries were later found in his flat. The entries for his final days are published below.
FA Cup replays abound but Everton take the thrilla from Villa
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Written by Darren Douglas
Whilst the rest of Europe and the lower leagues of England continued as normal, last weekend was once again dominated by the FA Cup as the fifth round got underway. Sunday evening brought back fond memories of Channel 4’s Football Italia as BBC3 screened the Milan derby, but there was plenty more on offer leading up to that as the neutrals hoped for a domestic cup upset
The weekend started with the Swansea v Fulham fixture and it was difficult not to be taken in by the nature of Swansea's football. They played wonderfully well and with a panache and style that gives credence to their rise to the upper echelons of the Championship.
Sunday’s Milan derby saw the confirmation of what we have known for the past four months: Inter will win Serie A at a canter. The chase for the fourth Champions League spot and the battle against relegation are now the only ports of call for the thrill seeking observer. 
Real Madrid, Almeria and Sevilla were the big winners in this week's round of fixtures. In fact, amazingly, they were the only teams inside the the top 16 to win at all! 
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