Imagine putting a hand in your pocket only to find a dog turd.
How would you feel? Disgusted, horrified, saddened, speechless, close to tears?
Anderson Polga’s part in Sporting’s 7-1 humiliation by Bayern Munich thrust all of these emotions and more upon me, as he turned out a display that must mark the nadir of Champions League defensive performances.
Go back 10-15 years and the goal-poacher was an integral part of any team. The likes of Ian Rush, Gary Lineker, Ian Wright and Andy Cole were some of the game’s most sought after commodities. But today the demand for strikers who prod home from short distances is not what it was.
There are modern incarnations. The most successful of recent times has been Ruud Van Nistelrooy; and since his hamstrings rotted away Michael Owen has done little other than sniff around for goals; but the goal-poachers’ numbers are dwindling.
As the so-called business end of the Portuguese season approaches it’s time to do some number crunching.
This week there were the same number of goals as the sum of the first six digits of Pi, while the number of red cards was double that of the Bank of England interest rate.
Sporting won by scoring the cube root of eight while their opponents Paços Ferreira managed to score only (280/28) – 10.
Real Madrid and Barcelona's simultaneous kick-offs on Saturday meant that if results went Real's way they could move to within 1 point of the Catalan league leaders. The form book was certainly with them, having won their last 10 league games compared with Barcelona's run of 5 fixtures without a win, and then there was the fact that Atlético Madrid hadn't won in the Bernabeu for over 10 years.
Real then, perhaps unsurprisingly, started strongest. Arjen Robben crafted some good opening chances for the home side, only to let himself down with poor selection when it mattered - twice choosing to shoot when Raul and then Marcelino looked to be in better positions (for which the latter was visibly frustrated).
The results of the latest poll are in and they’re pretty interesting. Asked which of the major European leagues is best, 47% of you plumped for La Liga, followed by 39% for the Premier League and just 14% for Serie A.
Obviously each competition has its own merits and they all have a pervading stereotype. The Premier League is regarded as low on technical skill but fast and frenetic, whilst the Italian competition supposedly offers more to the tactical observer, but is low on goalmouth action.
Which league do you think is best and why? What does it have to offer that the others don’t? And are the stereotypical assumptions that abound about each competition still applicable?
Let us know your thoughts…